It’s Monday and you know what that means: Nope, not unfunny jokes about not liking Mondays. It means situations and premises! They’ll have you love Mondays. Really.

A nefarious business has somehow managed to trademark a commonly-used and almost unavoidable word. Everyone has received a large and unpayable bill charging them for the number of times they have used this word (spoken or written) in their lives. Putting aside real-life IP and legal issues… What’s the word? What happens?